Worship workshop with Andy Park

I had the privilege of attending a worship workshop led by Andy Park, a well-known worship leader and song-writer (amongst many songs, he wrote “in the Secret”).  Decided to take some time to pen down the lessons learnt before i forget.

1) Relational Dynamics of working together as a team

• Envy, jealousy, selfishness can be a huge obstacle, especially in the context of worship team
• The following paradigms address how we should relate as a team
• Attitude that of submitting to each other and to God (Eph 5, Phil 2). Above all, love one another. Love is the answer (1 Cor 13)
• Staying in God’s love requires giving His love away – there’s a CAUSAL INTERDEPENDENCE between obedience + remaining/receiving God’s love with wisdom/knowing God.
• Unity leads to a deeper understanding of God. Conversely, isolation brings deception
• Beware of the danger of finding your significance in your worship team involvement. Significance is found in our identity in Christ, as a child of God.

2) The many spiritual roles of the worship team

a) Praise & worship

b) Spiritual warfare – Andy calls worship the process of “idol-smashing”; when we worship and tell God that He is Lord and we belong to Him alone, we’re going against this world’s culture and saying “no” to other idols

c) Teaching – when we sing Christian songs/hymns, we are effectively singing out doctrine and truths. e.g. teaching about the cross, the holiness of God, about Christ’s love, etc. So that as we sing, the truths renew our mind to transform us (Andy noted that people remember songs better than sermons)

d) Prophecy – sometimes Holy Spirit gives us strong ideas or a song in our mind, which when sung in church, speaks to a person’s life very directly.

e) Healing – People do get healed (physically or otherwise) during praise and worship, when Jesus is put into the center focus. Remember, that this is solely the Holy Spirit’s work, and is independent of the quality of worship-leading/musicality.  This is God’s work not ours.

f) Evangelism

3) Worship Prep

• Song choice. Factors include: accessibility (whether the song is easy for most congregation members to sing), scriptural, balance between artistry & recognizability (sometimes a song has to be repeated a few times over the course of a few weeks so church members can learn the song), continuity, and WHAT GOD IS SAYING TO YOU personally
• Living with a PURE HEART
• Listening to God. Cuz God really gives us ideas!
• Keep submitting to God’s authority
• REMEMBER: IT’s GOD, not us, that makes things happen to people.
• When playing, remember you are serving the congregation. You have the primary responsibility of making sure your chords are correct, and that you are singing correctly. There is the necessity of sacrificing your worship experience because of this responsibility, which means that it is okay if you feel that you are not worshipful or concentrating on your own personal worship experience.

4) Concluding thought

• For me, I think the key lesson to remember is that, probably the overarching ’secret’ of being a good worship leader is: Keep following Jesus, and keep falling in love with Him over and over. This is consistent with what Andy had been reminding us, that worship is our whole life (Romans 12), not just the singing of worship songs.

The following beautiful passage from Romans 12 sums up what an authentic, God-honouring worship team should be: -

^“1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. ²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

³For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. ⁴Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. ⁷If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; ⁸if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.”

Some members of UPC worship team with Andy Park, January 2009.

Reflections on Urbana 09

Time flies. It has been slightly over a week after the Missions Conference at St Louis, Missouri. I have been putting off my commitment to consolidate lessons learnt from God, just gonna take this morning to do this, condensed into the following 20 bullet points.

1) Love demands incarnation (N.B: this was an answered prayer – i was praying that God teach me the significance of Jesus’ incarnation during the Christmas period)

2) Be faithful , as a student (for now) , one step at a time

3) Be open to what God has for you

4) Suffering & Joy go together (bitterness & joy do not)

5) Anger against injustice

6) BEWARE of praise. Welcome criticism

7) Material inheritance rots, spiritual inheritance lasts forever

8 ) Challenge to increase the % of tithe as income increases; live below income level

9) It is in giving that we receive

10) Lessons from seminars

10a) Inside the LGBT community

• To see same-sex attraction/tendencies as a complex romantic drive (which needs to be sheparded to please God)
• Sexuality is not an “on/off” switch
• Problem is lumping practising homosexuals into one category (i.e. LGBT). They are unique individuals each on a unique journey
• Theology of suffering: as we move on with God and experience struggles in the area of sexuality
• Homosexuality not the main issue. Main issue is “Holy-sexuality”.
• Journey where God draws a person to surrender more and more to Him
• Guideline in engaging in political arena on this issue: does my decisions on policy help OR hinder people (in particular members of LGBT community) coming to Christ? Recognizing that politics is not the solution, and more importantly, SUBMISSION to an attitude of meekness and powerlessness (think about Jesus’ example – he did not overthrow the Roman empire, or re-write its laws and policies, He ushered in God’s Kingdom is a way that was not overt)
• Many in the LGBT community are living out their lives as response to our rejection instead of owning their own journey. Are we causing them to live in this way? Is this fair?
• IDENTITY is MUCH MORE THAN SEXUALITY! Life is more than just sex & marriage! Let’s not have a too unbalanced view: Sex & marriage not relevant in heaven where we will be living in eternity.
• Having same-sex attraction per se is not a sin; lusting/going further (both hetero and homo) is.
• Although there is an element of ‘lifestyle choice’, homosexuality is much much more complex than that. Compartmentalizing it as a choice issue immediately builds walls, kills constructive dialogue.
• You don’t get “cleaned up” first. You belong to Christ and family of believers first, the cleaning up is the process that comes after
• Focus on becoming more and more like Christ, issue is becoming more like Him, not so much about keeping straight or celibate. Focus on Christ
• One of the speakers has a very helpful and heartfelt testimony on these issues on his blog (http://christopheryuan.blogspot.com/2007/02/my-testimony-of-gods-grace.html)

10b) Radical Giving (Tom Hsieh)

• Living below the median income level; giving the rest to God
• Key is understanding God’s character as the governing principle: God is GOOD, GENEROUS, EXTRAVAGANT, God is COMMITTED TO PROVIDING FOR YOU
• Radical giving – means that your safety net is NOT your savings, it’s the provision from God to you & your community
• What God gave you is for the blessing of the community

10c) International Student Track session (Ramez Atallah)

• Time in America used for preparation for His work. Amongst other things, excellent opportunity to learn creativity in America.
• Take advantage of your (Chinese) Heritage. Already know Mandarin. Makes more sense to send ppl like me instead of using up additional resources to train someone who doesn’t know Mandarin to learn that language from zero. At the same time, humbled by the many non-Mandarin speakers who are learning the language from scratch to reach out to Chinese people.
• God uses everything you go through to prepare you for future service (story of Joseph, where the final outcome of all that he went through was that he saved and blessed his whole family)

11) Lesson from bible study on Nicodemus’ encounter with Jesus in the gospel of John – talking like you believe, but not living consistently in some area of my life

12) Prayer ministry time at America’s Center

• God is in the business of mending, putting us back together
• You are not a disappointment to God
• Sanctify imagination, and surrendering father’s lack of affirmation to God
• Childhood lack of affirmation led to: tendency to reject people / feeling rejected by people
• Insight: craving for father’s approval one of main causes for desire to seek approval from ppl.
• Someone who prayed for me had a vision of a blueberry pie (haha) – interpreted it as fruit of the Spirit. God’s gonna develop it.
• Confirmation of God’s promises from Psalm 23
• Encouragement to use sensitivity to God to bless ppl in prayer ministry

13) Lessons from the theme of Incarnation (Philippians 2) (Ramez Atallah)

• Pride to humility
• Power to powerlessness (“He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped”)
• Privilege to poverty
• Harmony of heaven to broken-ness of earth (Jesus spent 30 years living with the poor before beginning His ministry; catchy quote: “hurry hurts the poor”)

14) Lessons on intercession (Sunder Krishnan)

• STARTING POINT: Opposition against God is FUTILE (Totally changed my paradigm!)
• Pray in accordance with Word of God (e.g. if praying for a pastor who is in jail, look at the account of Paul & Joseph who were imprisoned who gained the favour of the jailors; likewise God already knows that the pastor is in jail, so don’t have to repeat that, pray instead that God grant the pastor favour with his jailors)
• Pray in accordance with the Works of God (e.g. pray for the unleashing of God’s creative power, prayer to use time of waiting (for job, etc.) creatively)
• Praying big & bold
• Prayer is NOT ABOUT GETTING ANSWERS, but BECOMING A CHANGED PERSON!

15) We are called to obedience and not necessarily to success

16) Let it be “come & see Jesus” instead of “come & see me”. I may still struggle, but i’ll always have a testimony

17) Poverty & Missions. Reaching out to China / China students? Confirmation in the form of sudden increase in number of China students i’ve met immediately after the conference

18) People who you lead to Christ today may very well impact thousands others (they may go back to their home countries and start a church there)!

19) Invitation to ask Jesus to meet with me, and in turn ask my friends and family to meet Him.

20) Word from God: Reconciliation

Christmas with the homeless

This Christmas was the most unique ever.

I signed up with this organization, Food on Foot (www.foodonfoot.org/), to volunteer serving food and sleeping bags to the homeless in West Hollywood (yup, not all glitz and glam).

Upon arrival at the food distribution complex the volunteers were divided into groups – some people were assigned to different food ‘checkpoints’ for different items of food. My group was assigned to distribute sleeping bags and interact with the people lining up for food.

Just before we began our tasks, the organization’s founder gave a fiery and inspiring speech and i highlight some points he made:

(i) importance of helping homeless people gain their self-confidence by providing them with job opportunities

(ii) greatest enemy to self-improvement is the guy in the mirror

(iii) some homeless people  have the prevalent attitude of blaming the world for our problems (which we are also guilty of)

(iv) setting an example for our kids not through our words but through our actions

(v) sometimes we create the ‘accidents’ that cause our failures – example: when we don’t reply to a voice message, or email, it’s not because we can’t, but it’s really because we DON’T WANT TO.

(vi) made us realise how selfish we are, that many times our actions betray the fact that we care only about ourselves.

He ended his speech with a poem, which I will quote at the end of this post.

So, back to the volunteer tasks – I sense that God placed me in the sleeping bag group because He wanted me to really get to know the homeless people (this was the only group which had the longest interaction time with the poeple in line). This seemed to be a fulfilled prophecy in the form of my pastor’s words to me last month when he told me that as a first step to becoming more giving towards the poor, God wants me to see these people and talk to them.

I was struck by two main things. Firstly, it was the dignity these homeless people displayed. For people who literally live on the streets everyday they had, in my opinion, a certain degree of self-respect and cheerfulness. I could also sense the absence of bitterness in them, which frankly speaking, makes no sense, and which had a humbling effect on me, the closet complainer.

Secondly, i witnessed first hand the destructive effects of addictions. One lady, who had a bright career in journalism, became addicted to drugs 5 years ago, now joined the line of the homeless queueing for food and sleeping bags. The object lesson for me here was that homeless people do not just comprise people from broken families or people who are plain bums, but also consisted of successful professionals who fell into alchohol/drug and other addictions.

Although we spent about 2.5 hours distributing stuff to the homeless, instead of feeling tired I felt energized, and my spirits were lifted. Indeed giving is a joyful process!

As mentioned earlier, I quote below an excerpt of the poem, which I found to be really full of truths, shared to us by the founder of Food on Foot: -

“So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter are not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.”

Oh yes, and one more thing, i learnt firsthand that WHEN YOU GIVE, GOD WILL NOT SHORTCHANGE YOU - i’ve been giving more to the poor this month, and to my pleasant surprise, I received some kitchen appliances as gifts, and just today I was given a coffee table (and it was something I felt I wanted for my apartment). Praise God

Merry Christmas from LA!

Epiphany

Just had an epiphany today, better jot it down:

Love people instead of trying to own people.

Ok, back to studying for finals.

The Fringe Benefits of Failure

Today while at the gym I was reflecting on a failed past relationship (strange place to be reflecting over deep stuff) with strong feelings of regret. I was looking at my own character in the past and really felt an overwhelming sense of failure.

Chanced upon a Commencement speech delivered by JK Rowling at Harvard on “The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination” (http://harvardmagazine.com/commencement/the-fringe-benefits-failure-the-importance-imagination) and some of the stuff she said spoke deeply to me, and decided to quote some excerpts so I can remember her very words: -

“Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea then how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

Looking back, whilst I look at my past failure with regret, I realize I won’t be where I am now (not that I am successful or something), being more self-aware and pushing myself to be a better version of myself, if not for failure. I can really identify with Rowling’s message about failures stripping away the inessentials, and helping us to become more self aware. In the process, just as Rowling found the value of wonderful friendships, during the dark times of my life God has placed angels in the form of good friends and mentors in my life to walk with me. So thank you my dear friends, for being there for me, God has used you to make a positive difference in my life. I love you guys.

On a totally different note (heh), someone commented on my Youtube post, which was meant as a belated birthday present in the form of a video to a friend back home, and gave me 5 stars. Hee hee. Didn’t expect ppl to actually watch my video:

Pruning

Oh man

This past week has been overwhelming. God spoke to me about the following:

Trust in Him in the area of finances and relationships.

Hypocrisy

Giving

Translate into action what I have learnt from Him

God will use my time here in the US to train me and change me, and also to clean out the dirt and toxins in my life

It’s been a painful process, but as I was reading about the passage about the vine and the branches, about how God has to prune (pruning is a painful process for plants, assuming plants feel pain) us so that we can be more fruitful, I understand that to change for the better involves a degree of pain.

Pretty emotionally draining stuff in the short span of time listening to Him. But sense that my life has already started transforming..

thanksgiving

this week is Thanksgiving week. We don’t have Thanksgiving in Singapore, but what Americans do on Thanksgiving is in many respects similar to our reunion dinner on Chinese New Year’s Eve – basically it’s a time where they get together with family for a nice big meal (just thinking about Roast Turkey makes me hungry)

on Sunday, in line with Thanksgiving Day coming up, the pastor was preaching about giving thanks in all circumstances. What really struck me was what he said about our tendency to move on to the next prayer request on the agenda after God answers our prayer, instead of pausing and giving thanks to God and praising Him. This is true of myself.

Even today, there’s so much to give thanks for, but all i was mainly concerned about was how to come up with a topic for my law paper. Decided to just pause and list out the things i am thankful for:

1. Love from family and friends

2. Nice church with kind churchmates

3. Good location of my current apartment, which is near school and church

4. A ride to church for weekday morning prayer

5. A classmate offered to share case outlines with me, in preparation for finals

6. A loved one found a job

7. Nice cell group in Singapore, and now, in LA

8. the fact that God is always with me.

I’m looking forward to thanksgiving dinner, heh.

conversation

just had a wonderful conversation with my mentor via long-distance phone call. So nice to catch up with an old friend, and to hear the Singaporean accent again.

He told me that friends in Singapore have been keeping me in prayer, and so, thanks guys so much! your prayers made such a difference. Some of the testimonies in my entries so far are the fruit of your prayers.

Anyway, my mentor suggested i put in more pictures on my blog cuz it’s too wordy. So here’s a recet photo of me and my new friends in church. I thank God for this community over here in LA, they’re such wonderful wonderful ppl.

 

And recently the lyrics from the song “Deeper in Love” performed by Don Moen really echoed the prayers of my heart, esp. in light of the events entered in my post entitled “Depth” a few days ago. Here are the lyrics:

There is a longing only You can fill
A raging temptest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know You as I’m known
Drink from the river
That flows before your throne

“Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I’ve ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
To the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
Forever satisfied”

 

Submission and letting go

God really speaks, and He spoke to me so directly again today.

“overthinking”

“selfishness”

“carrying all the burdens myself”

“experienced much depression”

“now feeling frustrated because things didn’t turn out as i envisaged”

“she had tears in her eyes when she decided to let go”

“we disappointed each other”

“SUBMIT”

“Rest”

“Frustration in previous job situation because not hearing what God wants me to do”

“Always following the program”

“too ambitious”

“won’t get the previous r/s back”

“there will be spiritual revival if you focus on just one thing”

“involvement in too many spiritual stuff, just need to focus on one area”

I was at peace after all these words of knowledge were spoken to me. It was not easy to digest, because the truth hurts sometimes, but i am very thankful God is so close and real.

I was given the diaries of John Sung , the great Chinese evangelist. Been reading his entries, and one of the things he said struck me, which was that God uses unpleasant things to humble us and to mold our character. That really encouraged me: i mean, i’ve never really suffered physical afflictions, but i had my share of emotional wounds which got me really depressed at times, but I’m thankful that God can use these to change my character for the better.

At the same time, was encouraged by how John Sung prayed in response to EVERY SINGLE obstacle or proble. Really inspired me to pray more.

Which leads me to my final point of this hastily written post (will be going to the computer lab to search for and print out some law articles after this) – was very very disappointed and frustrated yesterday evening when I felt that the presentation for my paper topic didn’t go well. But decided to pray to God and trust Him for a solution. At the same time, very thankful for this humbling experience – when I was in Singapore esp. in my final year in law school, coming up with a topic wasn’t difficult, but it feels so much more difficult here. I thank God for dealing with my pride in thinking that this time here at UCLA would be easy-peasy without depending on Him and without a conscientious and diligent attitude.

Decided also to surrender my past to Him and ask that He fill me with His Spirit too, in light of His word of knowledge for me, so that I may not only feel His peace but also gain the strenght to do the right thing.

Depth

This morning at morning prayer in church, God had a word for me. Actually a lot of words in fact:

Isaiah 41

⁸ “But you, O Israel, my servant,
       Jacob, whom I have chosen,
       you descendants of Abraham my friend,

 ⁹ I took you from the ends of the earth,
       from its farthest corners I called you.
       I said, ‘You are my servant’;
       I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

 ¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;
       do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
       I will strengthen you and help you;
       I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Depth (confirms His Word for me before I left S’pore)

I am easily distracted. By ambitions and by my constant thinking about random stuff.

I don’t have much time. This is the time to dig deep spiritually

I still have bitterness from a past relationship, but God wants to heal me.

God knows i want a relationship, but He loves me too much to let me have one now. He will provide it to me after I grow deep in Him (aw shucks)

He made me realise that I was actually feeling frustrated back in S’pore.

He is looking for me to SUBMIT to Him

He will show me my calling, and provide a vision and direction after 7-8 months

Money is not the issue. God wants me to consider generosity

Follow up action:

My pastor suggested that I be committed and focused on one main thing. This involves focusing on spiritual life, bible, good books and to soak up all the spiritual stuff and experiences when I’m here. Suggests that I not be involved in so many different groups. I was also challenged not to be so ambitious in doing so many things. He also offered to provide me with resources should I choose to focus on my growth by way of the local church.

I’m so glad God spoke to me so directly today, although of course I did not like all of the things I heard, heh, especially the relationship part. But I’ll trust Him, for He is with me.

I feel so comforted that even though I’m still unsure about my direction in life, God promises that He is with me, and tells me not to fear. 

What an adventure. Awesome